My book, "The Phantom Scribbler of Old Lindfield" is published on Amazon/Kindle to download or borrow. The link is: http://amazon.com/dp/b00677b1p8
Good value for money! Buy some for your friends!
Ivor thanks you....
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Sunday 17 June 2012
S and S - Steam and Soldiers
S and S – Steam and Soldiers
Reading the report about another “Re-enactment” involving actors in German SS uniforms, I find it amazing that the Heritage Railways keep getting involved in this. The one reported on had an imitation Hermann Goering.
This time, some bright spark had the idea of finding some Jewish locals and asking them if they wouldn't mind parading around with big yellow stars stuck to their back. Perhaps they could take part in a little re-creation of mass murder. Insensitive? Just a little bit.
As a rail enthusiast, I know that many other enthusiasts are “rivet-counters”, i.e. fearsome in their persuit of accuracy. Yet there are many instances of German uniforms being seen in these re-enactments, when the likes of Goering never set foot in Britain (Ribbentrop maybe, and not in uniform, but not Goering). This always seems to upset people, especially when one railway had a “German spy” arrested and shot in front of visiting children. Not quite the way spys were dealt with. They are easier to "de-brief" when alive, you see.
If they want to create a wartime atmosphere, go ahead. It’s good to recreate a period and show how the railways worked in wartime. Use actors in Army, Navy and Airforce uniforms, and Americans, that was accurate. But not Germans. They were only in the country in prisons, not on the trains.
It’s simple: No Axis, only Allies. Rivet-counters unite!
Reading the report about another “Re-enactment” involving actors in German SS uniforms, I find it amazing that the Heritage Railways keep getting involved in this. The one reported on had an imitation Hermann Goering.
This time, some bright spark had the idea of finding some Jewish locals and asking them if they wouldn't mind parading around with big yellow stars stuck to their back. Perhaps they could take part in a little re-creation of mass murder. Insensitive? Just a little bit.
As a rail enthusiast, I know that many other enthusiasts are “rivet-counters”, i.e. fearsome in their persuit of accuracy. Yet there are many instances of German uniforms being seen in these re-enactments, when the likes of Goering never set foot in Britain (Ribbentrop maybe, and not in uniform, but not Goering). This always seems to upset people, especially when one railway had a “German spy” arrested and shot in front of visiting children. Not quite the way spys were dealt with. They are easier to "de-brief" when alive, you see.
If they want to create a wartime atmosphere, go ahead. It’s good to recreate a period and show how the railways worked in wartime. Use actors in Army, Navy and Airforce uniforms, and Americans, that was accurate. But not Germans. They were only in the country in prisons, not on the trains.
It’s simple: No Axis, only Allies. Rivet-counters unite!
Tuesday 8 May 2012
An Alternative CV
The Alternative CV
Having been made redundant three times in a row, I offer anyone in this situation an alternative CV, to be used as a skeleton document, which will ensure employment by the famous british management:
Hello, let me introduce myself, I am……………………..
I have experience with computers, I screw everything up, and never take a backup. This saves the Company lots of money for diskettes/CDs/tapes.
I spend most of the day outside with the ashtray, smoking with my friends, and so require a high salary to pay for the fags.
You always know where I am, I am never at my desk, being in the loo having a wank, or chatting up the dollies in Accounts, or having a fag. Sometimes I am just at home in bed, hung-over from last night which is very thoughtful of me, since the one thing that really ballses up your computer systems is a pissed/hung-over I.T. bloke.
I am willing to work Flextime, as I like to arrive late in the morning because I am still bleary from the booze-up the previous night. It gives me time to get a couple of fixes in before getting to my desk. I never take decisions until after lunchtime, it’s safer that way.
You can always find me at lunchtime, I am in the Pub.
I am pissed as a newt all afternoon, so though unable to answer the phone or do any technical work, I am casual and friendly – we call this “charisma”.
I demand a high salary to pay for my drugs habit, which contributes to my lack of driving licence – if you want me to work offsite, you will need to provide a car and driver - preferably upmarket car (e.g. Ferrari) and female driver, short skirt essential to promote the Company image. This also makes other people think I am important.
British Management employs thousands of people like me – I am bound to fit in. You will be lucky to recruit me for a couple of months, before I shove off for a better job. I am very considerate, and only leave after you have sent me on a load of expensive courses. I usually give no notice, just fail to turn in one day. Make sure you forward my severance pay to the right Bank account.
I probably won’t sue your Company for unfair dismissal, unless you have made me do some work while I was there, or if your coffee was crap.
With my attitude to my work, I am bound to go onwards and upwards to a top management job, if only I can train myself in pure, undiluted incompetence.
That way, I can employ more people like me.
Having been made redundant three times in a row, I offer anyone in this situation an alternative CV, to be used as a skeleton document, which will ensure employment by the famous british management:
Hello, let me introduce myself, I am……………………..
I have experience with computers, I screw everything up, and never take a backup. This saves the Company lots of money for diskettes/CDs/tapes.
I spend most of the day outside with the ashtray, smoking with my friends, and so require a high salary to pay for the fags.
You always know where I am, I am never at my desk, being in the loo having a wank, or chatting up the dollies in Accounts, or having a fag. Sometimes I am just at home in bed, hung-over from last night which is very thoughtful of me, since the one thing that really ballses up your computer systems is a pissed/hung-over I.T. bloke.
I am willing to work Flextime, as I like to arrive late in the morning because I am still bleary from the booze-up the previous night. It gives me time to get a couple of fixes in before getting to my desk. I never take decisions until after lunchtime, it’s safer that way.
You can always find me at lunchtime, I am in the Pub.
I am pissed as a newt all afternoon, so though unable to answer the phone or do any technical work, I am casual and friendly – we call this “charisma”.
I demand a high salary to pay for my drugs habit, which contributes to my lack of driving licence – if you want me to work offsite, you will need to provide a car and driver - preferably upmarket car (e.g. Ferrari) and female driver, short skirt essential to promote the Company image. This also makes other people think I am important.
British Management employs thousands of people like me – I am bound to fit in. You will be lucky to recruit me for a couple of months, before I shove off for a better job. I am very considerate, and only leave after you have sent me on a load of expensive courses. I usually give no notice, just fail to turn in one day. Make sure you forward my severance pay to the right Bank account.
I probably won’t sue your Company for unfair dismissal, unless you have made me do some work while I was there, or if your coffee was crap.
With my attitude to my work, I am bound to go onwards and upwards to a top management job, if only I can train myself in pure, undiluted incompetence.
That way, I can employ more people like me.
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